Monday, January 30, 2012

bad night;;

I'm sorry. I really am. I don't know what to do, I feel like a screw up and I have bad nights. One thing can just set me off and the fact that I have no control over this situation sucks!

I just don't want to force you into this relationship. Our past is our past but I just want to make sure you really want to be with me and only me.

I'm frustrated.
I have to admit that I am upset that I love you so much and am willing to make things work and give you so many chances and I'm still the one that has to hit rock bottom and be in this situation. But maybe I deserve it. Maybe all the stuff people say about deserving so much better doesn't apply to me.

I just want you to continue to be in this 1983794873298742% and love me like I know you can.

I too want you to go far in life, whatever that may be. I really want you to be the happiest person you can be! :)
Maybe you should listen to your parents . . . they know you best? And as much as I HATE to admit this, maybe moving back is best :''/ What are the things you have here? Me? and right now you technically can't by law. :/ You have my heart though so don't ever doubt that. I don't want you living a life where you have to go to places like Portland or Seattle just to pay your rent. :/ You are so much better than that.

However, even though it might be best for you, I feel that if you move back to AK you won't want to be with me anymore. I feel like we will grow apart and I won't be part of your life anymore. :/ You have so much going for you up there, I would just hold you back :/

I do want to be with you. I will do anything for you. I hope you know that.

I wish you were here so I could hold you <3

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