Many people try to figure this out, all the time. And of course naturally, you have SO many responses to the same question. . .
WHAT IS LIFE ABOUT?!
People will saying finding yourself; living; creating yourself; yada yaddddaaaa.
However, my biggest problem with all of these is that we aren't on this planet ALONE! Which is why the second he said it, I knew in my heart I was on the right track for myself.
He said, "It's about finding someone you want to share your life with."
Finally, at least someone who understands that I all want is someone to stand by me through every adventure we choose to take on.
Finally, the one person who we all thought would never commit to ANYTHING, has broken that mold.
Finally, I know my answer, now just to solve the one problem I still have, no takers.
You're out there somewhere, I know you are. In fact, you are probably reading this.
Soon, I will write a post about how many adventures I have gone on with you, just know that finding you, was the greatest adventure I ever went on alone, however they will never compare to everything we are about to conquer together!! So until next time. . .
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
Sunday, May 10, 2015
quarter of a century, native style.
It's your birthday. you are now 25. crazy.
I am sitting here wondering how you feel? and I mean truly feel, inside. what thoughts are going through your head? Do they make any sense? Are you going to act upon them? DO YOU MISS ME?
I saw you last week, but I haven't seen or heard from you since. You told me things were going to be different, because YOU wanted them that way. Buuuuut, I am a back burner thought, I know that's all I'll ever be from here on. But I still can't help but think about you, today is your day.
Well let me share some birthday wishes I have for you; 1. You remain healthy. 2. You stay out of unnecessary trouble. 3. You relax. 4. You find it.
I miss the happy sparkle in your heart. Happy Birthday Robert Nicholas Thein II
May all your dreams come true <3
I am sitting here wondering how you feel? and I mean truly feel, inside. what thoughts are going through your head? Do they make any sense? Are you going to act upon them? DO YOU MISS ME?
I saw you last week, but I haven't seen or heard from you since. You told me things were going to be different, because YOU wanted them that way. Buuuuut, I am a back burner thought, I know that's all I'll ever be from here on. But I still can't help but think about you, today is your day.
Well let me share some birthday wishes I have for you; 1. You remain healthy. 2. You stay out of unnecessary trouble. 3. You relax. 4. You find it.
I miss the happy sparkle in your heart. Happy Birthday Robert Nicholas Thein II
May all your dreams come true <3
Friday, January 30, 2015
what you, Robert Nicholas Thein II, deserve;;
Words cannot even fathom.
I really wish I could put into words all of the things that you deserve, but fortunately for the world, some feelings are never meant to be altered into words. You deserve things that go far beyond your wildest dreams. First off, let me describe what you feel like to me:
First and foremost, YOU FEEL LIKE HOME.
I can't tell you how many times we have held each other and it felt like I was home, in the exact place I was forever meant to be. I felt good things and bad things alike, but just as a solid home has, it had character, some days the sun shined perfectly, others it snowed so deep, you thought things would never thaw, but they always did. SHIT ALWAYS BUFFED OUT. Your heartbeat was the melody to my life. Laying on your chest and hearing your heart was one of the most magical things to me. It drowned out everything I wanted to forget about so I could listen to the only thing that mattered, it is the safest place in the world, that is home.
In my home, I had the most natural cure for every illness, physically or mentally, I had ever encountered - your laugh.
The high squeaky one where you closed your eyes and grabbed your chest is my all time favorite, that is how I knew your laugh is genuine. You always turned bright red and placed your right hand over your heart. Your laughter cured not only my soul, but seemed to do the same for you.
This leads to your sense of knowing. Knowing when to do absolutely everything. When to hold me, when to speak, when to shit talk, and when to not. Knowing to just trust me, when to guide me, knowing when to push and when to not. And most importantly, when to just blend up a margarita. Now of course every system has flaws, but shit always buffs out and we built a network of gears that supported each other based on your knowledge. Take credit for the foundation you built, that is one of the manliest things you have done in my eyes, you supported me.
that right there, takes strength.
you have crazy amounts of strength. you are so courageous it scares you. I wish so badly that you could see it. Go stare in a mirror for two minutes, look deep in your eyes. There is so much character behind them and I was blessed looking into those eyes for 3 1/2 years. I can only say now that I wish you had the courage to just stay. But as people say, everything happens for a reason.
But this is where I can tell you this is what you deserve.
You are gifted, smart, funny, handsome, talented, experienced, relatable, and adaptable. (feel free to insert more adjectives)
You truly are a blessing to absolutely everyone around you, including strangers. I would kill at a chance to do it all over again with you. The experiences you show people and the things that you teach are unreal. You too deserve to be around people who will do the same for you. Explore, love and be free. You deserve to laugh, it really does cure this world and I wish everyone got your sense of humor, I envy the fact you threw a full glass of beer across a bar yelling "Kobe!". Native moment or not, it took balls. You deserve to lay peacefully under the Northern Lights. You are like me, fast. The perfect social butterfly, but the lights that I see in your eyes match those that dance in the Northern skies. It is alright if there are days you want to take it slow, do it, you deserve it. You deserve to speak and be understood when you decide not to talk. Surround yourself with those people that just know. JUST LIKE YOU. You just know when something is off, it's like a sixth sense. It will help when you don't always have the words. Most importantly, you deserve love. 100%, pure crazy, unpredictable, uncomparable, husky love. There is always good and bad to everything. When it's bad, it's bad, but make sure your goods outweigh the bads. Love the stupid things like trotting in the park and curly tails of curiosity. Take every challenge, fight it with the same passion I see when you stare at the Bellagio Fountains and surround yourself with all different kinds of love, it's healthy. Friends, family, lovers, pets, they are all different.
My only fear is that you will never understand how amazing you truly are, not just to me, but to many people.
I wanted to write to you because if I can never tell you again, at least you can always read this and remind yourself. Besides the select few people in my life that you know I have been blessed with, my biggest blessing has been you. I will never love anyone the way I have loved you and still love you to this very day. I often stare at your side of the bed where the husk sleeps, and it gets harder for me to breathe. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. BE PROUD OF THAT. GIVE YOURSELF MORE CREDIT. No matter what decisions you decide to make in your life, I will forever stand by them, 100%. You have changed my life for the better, I hope you can say the same. I am SO proud of you Nick. I love you Creative Native.
BF to PP, forever and always.
-Sexi Mexi
I really wish I could put into words all of the things that you deserve, but fortunately for the world, some feelings are never meant to be altered into words. You deserve things that go far beyond your wildest dreams. First off, let me describe what you feel like to me:
First and foremost, YOU FEEL LIKE HOME.
I can't tell you how many times we have held each other and it felt like I was home, in the exact place I was forever meant to be. I felt good things and bad things alike, but just as a solid home has, it had character, some days the sun shined perfectly, others it snowed so deep, you thought things would never thaw, but they always did. SHIT ALWAYS BUFFED OUT. Your heartbeat was the melody to my life. Laying on your chest and hearing your heart was one of the most magical things to me. It drowned out everything I wanted to forget about so I could listen to the only thing that mattered, it is the safest place in the world, that is home.
In my home, I had the most natural cure for every illness, physically or mentally, I had ever encountered - your laugh.
The high squeaky one where you closed your eyes and grabbed your chest is my all time favorite, that is how I knew your laugh is genuine. You always turned bright red and placed your right hand over your heart. Your laughter cured not only my soul, but seemed to do the same for you.
This leads to your sense of knowing. Knowing when to do absolutely everything. When to hold me, when to speak, when to shit talk, and when to not. Knowing to just trust me, when to guide me, knowing when to push and when to not. And most importantly, when to just blend up a margarita. Now of course every system has flaws, but shit always buffs out and we built a network of gears that supported each other based on your knowledge. Take credit for the foundation you built, that is one of the manliest things you have done in my eyes, you supported me.
that right there, takes strength.
you have crazy amounts of strength. you are so courageous it scares you. I wish so badly that you could see it. Go stare in a mirror for two minutes, look deep in your eyes. There is so much character behind them and I was blessed looking into those eyes for 3 1/2 years. I can only say now that I wish you had the courage to just stay. But as people say, everything happens for a reason.
But this is where I can tell you this is what you deserve.
You are gifted, smart, funny, handsome, talented, experienced, relatable, and adaptable. (feel free to insert more adjectives)
You truly are a blessing to absolutely everyone around you, including strangers. I would kill at a chance to do it all over again with you. The experiences you show people and the things that you teach are unreal. You too deserve to be around people who will do the same for you. Explore, love and be free. You deserve to laugh, it really does cure this world and I wish everyone got your sense of humor, I envy the fact you threw a full glass of beer across a bar yelling "Kobe!". Native moment or not, it took balls. You deserve to lay peacefully under the Northern Lights. You are like me, fast. The perfect social butterfly, but the lights that I see in your eyes match those that dance in the Northern skies. It is alright if there are days you want to take it slow, do it, you deserve it. You deserve to speak and be understood when you decide not to talk. Surround yourself with those people that just know. JUST LIKE YOU. You just know when something is off, it's like a sixth sense. It will help when you don't always have the words. Most importantly, you deserve love. 100%, pure crazy, unpredictable, uncomparable, husky love. There is always good and bad to everything. When it's bad, it's bad, but make sure your goods outweigh the bads. Love the stupid things like trotting in the park and curly tails of curiosity. Take every challenge, fight it with the same passion I see when you stare at the Bellagio Fountains and surround yourself with all different kinds of love, it's healthy. Friends, family, lovers, pets, they are all different.
My only fear is that you will never understand how amazing you truly are, not just to me, but to many people.
I wanted to write to you because if I can never tell you again, at least you can always read this and remind yourself. Besides the select few people in my life that you know I have been blessed with, my biggest blessing has been you. I will never love anyone the way I have loved you and still love you to this very day. I often stare at your side of the bed where the husk sleeps, and it gets harder for me to breathe. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. BE PROUD OF THAT. GIVE YOURSELF MORE CREDIT. No matter what decisions you decide to make in your life, I will forever stand by them, 100%. You have changed my life for the better, I hope you can say the same. I am SO proud of you Nick. I love you Creative Native.
BF to PP, forever and always.
-Sexi Mexi
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
ending 2014;;
I don't need to publish on the year or at least what has happened in the past 4 months. Trust me when I say a lot has happened and a lot has changed my life drastically, maybe for the better, maybe not, it still changes day to day. That lesson still has yet to be learned. I can tell you I am choosing to remain positive about the current situation. Time is only going to keep on passing, here is to 2015! Be safe everyone!
Monday, June 24, 2013
short update;;
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